How many of you have experienced the excitement of sex slowly fade away as you have gotten older? Maybe you can remember when it was so enthralling, you prepared for it days before and reminisced about it days after the event. Now, if you are like most people, it is a way to relieve stress, an obligation in marriage, or some other lackluster habit that competes in excitement with a new episode of your second favorite sitcom.
Many people are “satisfied enough” with their sex life that they would prefer to let it be subpar than to experience the slight embarrassment that comes with admitting that they could be doing it better. What “good” sex is has been grossly misrepresented by the porn industry and so it’s no wonder that many people don’t know where to begin when it comes to improving this very important part of their life.
The problem is that since sex has taken a back seat in terms of importance in most people’s lives, it does not get the attention that it deserves. Reviving your sex life means reviving your spirit, and improving your relationships, your confidence levels and increasing overall happiness.
Keys to Revive Your Sex Life
1) Letting GO completely
If you are trying to have an orgasm, you are not letting go. If you are controlling your noises, movements or facial expressions, you are not letting go. Most of us are used to trying to control our pleasure to either hasten or slow down the approach of climax.
Letting go and relaxing into pleasure can help our experience of sex become far greater than finding the shortest line from A to Orgasm. For example, shallow breathing can help bring one closer to orgasm, while also limiting the intensity of orgasm, whereas deep relaxed breathing will spread the bliss throughout your whole body and we will feel a deeper sense of surrender with our pleasure. Most of us don’t really know the deep satisfaction we are capable of experiencing with sex because we have stopped ourselves from surrendering fully.
2) Tantric practice:
Where attention goes, energy flows. By learning to control your breath and your mental awareness, you can actually change the way that energy flows through your body. Sexual energy can actually be moved with your intention from the genitals up the spine and to the upper parts of the body for incredibly expansive and even spiritual experiences. When you begin to understand how to work with your sexual energy through tantric techniques, you can become a masterful lover and build the intensity of your sexual energy.
Tantra teaches us to approach sexuality with reverence and presence, which allows it to be something that nourishes you, instead of something that drains you. You are allowing it to be beautiful and healthy instead of something shameful. The more you practice reverence for its beauty, the more its beauty will grow.
3) Let your pleasure begin and end with love:
Connecting pleasure to love does not necessarily require you to be “in love” in the traditional sense. If you don’t have a loving partner to practice with, self love is always the best place to start. Both men and women can benefit from this, but women are more susceptible to having their arousal influenced by emotions.
A woman’s heart is so connected to her genitals that the emotion of love will fuel the pleasure, and can create an orgasmic experience that far surpasses emotionally- disconnected sex. It is not uncommon for a woman to experience orgasm for the first time when she experiences deeply connected, deeply loving sex. As her heart opens, so does her pussy. When you feed your pleasure with love, whether it is self love, or the love of your partner, you are guaranteed to have a more fulfilling experience.
You can try the simple practice of bringing your hand or your lips to your partner’s heart before and during love making to connect the sensation of pleasure to the heart. This can help open your heart and your whole body to feel more bliss and satisfaction in love-making.
The pleasure was all mine,